Fans Can't Wait for the Big Game

Author: Some sports writer

Sun Feb 04 2018

MINNEAPOLIS - Fans all across the country are gathering at bars, parties, and sometimes all alone on the couch, all waiting for the new Super Bowl ads! Best Buy, Sam's Club, and other big box stores, have reported record sales of 4K Ultra High Def TVs and theater quality sound systems. Restaurants and caterers are selling wings, pizzas, chips, dips, cheap beer, cheese, foam fingers, and paper plates at alarming volumes.

Many Super Bowl advertisements have become iconic and well-known because of their quality, unpredictability, humor, and use of special effects. So fans are expecting a great show this year from some of their favorites, like Doritos, Bud Light, GoDaddy, and Coca Cola.

"All I can say is, thank goodness the game comes on from time to time, so I can go to the bathroom", says one fan. It has come to light in the past couple of decades that people are often times far more interested in the ads than the actual game. A fact which the makers of the ads, the networks, and the fans all seem to agree.

Owing to the expected audience, the network showing the Super Bowl, can charge in excess of $4.5 million for a 30-second spot. As of this year's Super Bowl LII, that figure is over $5 million. And many advertisers are buying longer blocks of time. Many companies have spent their entire budget on a single ad, and driven themselves out of business completely. That doesn't matter to the fans though. They are interested in the ads, and have no real interest in the actual products.

Editor's note: This is the second time now we have posted a story that is supposed to be satire and totally in jest, yet is entirely true. Also, GO BIRDS!